Glasgow Drunkenness

From an article i found today in the Scotsman dated 3rd August 1853: 

"There is no drunkenness in the world so beastly and brutal than a Saturday night's drunkenness in Glasgow. 

"...Groups of excited men were fighting here and there; scores were zig-zagging along in a state of tipsy exhilaration and..swinish beatitude." 

Not much has changed in the last 157 years then! Plus, the newspapers are STILL moaning about it!!

Of Unsound Mind

EK Diamond
Department of Psychiatry
Glasgow
14th August, 2009

Dear Cabbage Cat,

Diagnosis: Of Unsound Mind
Treatment: Here, take these pills

Further to your recent appointment, i can confirm that you are as mad as a money on a tricycle. I have referred you to my colleague Dr Caeser Titts for further assessment. We look forward to seeing you in due course.

Yours sincerely


Dr Diamond
Consultant Psychiatrist

Glasgow vs the Gaza Strip

I once heard that the life expectancy of someone living in the East end of Glasgow is less than that of someone from the Gaza strip. If smoking, drinking or drugs don’t get you then a knife wielding Ned probably will. In horror movies the baddie is always some formidable stranger with a mask and enough discretion to get away with it. In Glasgow, it’s usually a track-suited Ned looking to rob you for his next £10 bag of heroin and he is quite happy to do this in full view of CCTV. It is unclear to me whether this is because they don’t care about being caught or they know the Police can’t be bothered catching them.

It is also my belief that potato waffles are partly to blame.