From an article i found today in the Scotsman dated 3rd August 1853:
"There is no drunkenness in the world so beastly and brutal than a Saturday night's drunkenness in Glasgow.
"...Groups of excited men were fighting here and there; scores were zig-zagging along in a state of tipsy exhilaration and..swinish beatitude."
Not much has changed in the last 157 years then! Plus, the newspapers are STILL moaning about it!!
Showing posts with label drunk. Show all posts
Showing posts with label drunk. Show all posts
Thursday, 7 January 2010
Wednesday, 21 October 2009
Hot Piss and Kebabs
"Whatever I do, I do not Repent.
I Keep Pissing against the Moon"
I drank until i was inebriated - whiskey, beer and sugary alco-pops. My liver was fucked so what difference would it make if my teeth fell out as well? Fuck it!
I remember stumbling along Waterloo Street, squinting through my alcoholic haze. What time is it? How did i end up here? It must have been after 2 but the streets were still busy and bustling. Living dead girls lined the pavements - the girls with sunken faces and yesterday's make-up. Waterloo Street was like the Barras of Pussy. Roll up! Roll up! Get your hole here!
"'Scuse me misses," said a whiny voice approaching to my left. "Spare any chaynge?" I staggered on, only a little less worse for wear than this toothless prozzie. Hurry, hurry Mrs Murray! Diddy rides, 2 for a tenner!
I was dying for a piss. My hamster bladder just couldn't take all the booze i had consumed. I was too sophisticated to piss up an alley so i tried to cross my legs and walk at the same time. Shit, why did i have to have that last beer? I could've afforded a taxi home if it wasn't for that stupid pint!
Finally my flat was in view. I reached the front door and fumbled drunkenly for my keys. The second i opened the door, that very second, my bladder gave up on me. Hot urine exploded to the floor and once i had started i Could. Not. Stop. It felt fucking great and i had already reached the point of no return. aaahhhhhh....
To this day that front porch honks of piss but what the hell? The whole of Glasgow reeks of hot piss and kebabs anyway.
I categorically deny all rumours that I pissed myself on my front porch. I still contend that Glasgow honks of hot piss and kebabs. Fact.
I Keep Pissing against the Moon"
I drank until i was inebriated - whiskey, beer and sugary alco-pops. My liver was fucked so what difference would it make if my teeth fell out as well? Fuck it!
I remember stumbling along Waterloo Street, squinting through my alcoholic haze. What time is it? How did i end up here? It must have been after 2 but the streets were still busy and bustling. Living dead girls lined the pavements - the girls with sunken faces and yesterday's make-up. Waterloo Street was like the Barras of Pussy. Roll up! Roll up! Get your hole here!
"'Scuse me misses," said a whiny voice approaching to my left. "Spare any chaynge?" I staggered on, only a little less worse for wear than this toothless prozzie. Hurry, hurry Mrs Murray! Diddy rides, 2 for a tenner!
I was dying for a piss. My hamster bladder just couldn't take all the booze i had consumed. I was too sophisticated to piss up an alley so i tried to cross my legs and walk at the same time. Shit, why did i have to have that last beer? I could've afforded a taxi home if it wasn't for that stupid pint!
Finally my flat was in view. I reached the front door and fumbled drunkenly for my keys. The second i opened the door, that very second, my bladder gave up on me. Hot urine exploded to the floor and once i had started i Could. Not. Stop. It felt fucking great and i had already reached the point of no return. aaahhhhhh....
To this day that front porch honks of piss but what the hell? The whole of Glasgow reeks of hot piss and kebabs anyway.
I categorically deny all rumours that I pissed myself on my front porch. I still contend that Glasgow honks of hot piss and kebabs. Fact.
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